Written for Pure Matrimony – The Muslim Marriage Blog
‘But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.’ (2:216)
Every single person we encounter in our lives, can be categorized as one of two things, either a blessing, or a test. Of these people, some will become permanent fixtures, and secure a place in our lives, while others will pass through, but not without leaving behind remnants of emotions and memories gone by. it is what these individuals teach us in leaving, that will resonate with us.
The heart, being a complex and powerful entity, does not always comply with what is right, or what is deemed acceptable. Sometimes, it invariably forms an affinity towards someone it simply should not. The reality is, that this is an incredibly difficult situation to deal with and can cause extreme emotional distress, and worse case scenario, a detachment with ones deen.
Whether it be that your parents disapprove of the union, or that the object of your affections is simply inaccessible, sometimes you find yourself harbouring feelings for someone you cannot be with, causing one of the most prominent trials you will ever experience in your life…the decision to let go.
You may question why you’re inclined towards someone that is out of reach. unfortunately, the heart does not come with a manual, nor does it come with a reset button. So if you find yourself manoeuvring on this difficult emotional terrain, know that there is a higher purpose to your strife. Hidden within this undesired situation, is a chance for you to prove your worth to the Almighty, in adhering to the prophetic ways and behaving in accordance with Islamic teaching. You may not be accountable for your emotions, but you are most definitely accountable for your actions and intentions.
Above all things it is important to remember that there is absolute wisdom in the way that Allah swt works, and unbeknownst to us mere mortals, his plans for us exceed anything we could plan for ourselves. Know that is for your betterment that you are being tested. After all, it is a test, of your patience, of your servitude and of your commitment to perusing an Islamic lifestyle.
Fear not, for “You will never give up a thing for the sake of Allah (swt), but that Allah will replace it for you with something that is better for you than it.” (Ahmad). Find relief in the promise, that in sacrificing something with the intention of pleasing Allah (swt) , He will never leave you uncompensated. Allah (swt) only takes in order to give, to empty your hands for the blessings that are yet to be bestowed.
I know what you may be thinking, If something is going to be returned in one form or another, then why does it have to be taken away at all? Well the answer to this is simple. It is in the process of ‘loosing’ that we are ‘given’. It may be that you were not ready to accept the responsibility of one of the greatest blessings, or perhaps you had a lesson to learn before you could fully embrace the blessings given to you by Allah (swt) . Allah knows while we do not.
So, I cannot tell you not to love somebody, nor to ignore the intricacies of your heart, but I can tell you, that this world is a trial for the believer and a playground for the disbeliever. Know that if you do possess feelings for an unattainable individual and you feel you are being tested to the very bound of your strength, it is because god loves you and wants you to strive for a better Akirah by proving your worth. It may seem difficult at first, but anyone who leaves anything for the sake of Allah will never regret it Also know that, no matter the size of your transgressions, It is disbelief to assume that your sins are greater than the mercy of Allah swt. Shaytaan may try and convince you otherwise, that you are far from forgiveness, and should continue on the path of self deprecation. This simply could not be further from the truth. True sincere repentance can be made at anytime and you can turn towards Allah at any point.
Allah (swt) says: “Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” Hadith Qudsi.