Written for and Published by Pure Matrimony – Muslim Marriage Guide
Woman was made from the rib of man. She was not created from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be stepped upon. She was made from his side to be close to him, from beneath his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.
The rib cage has been specially crafted by Allah SWT to encase and enclose the heart, and its surrounding structures. The curved and crooked rib, is perfectly formed to serve its enshrouding function. And just like the ribs protect the heart, women were created to protect and safeguard man.
The Prophet (saws) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbour. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women.”
The comparison drawn between woman and the rib, is a beautiful reminder that women, are created imperfect. We have our off days, our emotions are fervent and sometimes, the pressures of daily life can get on top of us. But this is all part of our nature, and we are created perfectly to fulfil our primary role as care giver. Our emotions help us to be better wives, better mothers and to be compassionate when tolerance is running thin.
As a husband, its important to remember that your wife will not be exactly the way you want her to be. She has her own method of doing things, her own techniques and quirks, and these may not always coincide with your preferred ways. But rest assured, she is perfectly suited for her function, and for you, her chosen companion.
The beloved Prophet SAW, advises not to try and fix these ‘faults‘ in your wife, nor change her disposition, but to leave her as she is and accept that the female nature is comprised of many attributes, most of which are significantly different from the genetic make-up of man. This does not mean, that one is superior above the other, but that, just like the rib, men and women are too created in perfect adherence to their purpose. Neither man nor women is complete without the other, they both have a need for each another, like two sides of the perfect coin. For where one is weak the other is strong.
The Prophet SAW described women beautifully, as delicate glass vessels, to be handled with love and care. In your hands, know that you have one of the most abundant blessings of Allah SWT, a partner for you to dwell in tranquillity with. And If treated well, your wife will be a source of joy and comfort for you, a form of protection and purity, and a safe haven on this flawed and imperfect world.
Therefore, be not forceful with your wife. Embrace her differences and know that it is her fluid nature that makes her perfect for her role. Do not enforce your will upon her, women respond to kindness and affection, much more readily than harsh words and instructions. Do your very best to ignore her perceived faults, and focus upon and take benefit from her positive qualities, you will find they are present in abundance. Above all, be merciful towards her, for if you try and straighten her, sure enough, just like the rib
… you will break her.